On Priorities and Saying No

I know I said I wouldn't be writing much in this blog, but this seems like as good an outlet as any (it's too long for a facebook status!), and this has been on my mind a lot lately.

I don't like to say no. I typically have a pretty positive outlook on life; saying yes feels good (and makes others feel good), while saying no doesn't feel so hot. But I've been saying no a lot more lately: to requests from the kids ("Can we get ice cream/dinner out/this toy/that whatever?"), to invitations from friends (pubs, bars, movies, karaoke), you get the picture.

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The reason for all this no-ing? That's right, people. Money. Moulah. Dough. The almighty dollar. Or the lack thereof. My nos usually begin with "Sorry, I/we can't afford that." But that's not really true, or at least it's not the whole truth. It's not that we can't afford these things, full stop. We've just had to prioritize our spending. We're a family of five living on a single (not enormous) income, so we need to make conscious choices about where we spend our money.

We could go out to bars and spend money on drinks. We could have meals out more often. We could get ice cream cones every time we passed Baskin-Robbins or the ice cream truck. But we are choosing not to; we're prioritizing.

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We save money by not: drinking at bars, eating out all the time, going to movies with all the associated snacks, etc. Remember the old saying, "A penny saved is a penny earned?" We've earned a lot of pennies lately by forgoing expensive outings, by eating at home nearly all the time, by taking food with us when we go out with the kids for the day, by borrowing books and movies from the library rather than renting or buying them, by buying in bulk when stuff is on sale (our fridge is currently rammed FULL of yogurt and cheese, and we have a tonne of chicken in the freezer).

But by saying no to some things, it gives us the freedom to say yes to other things. Like sending one of the kids on a trip to Greece (that one did require additional help from generous family members), like taking a one-week, kid-free holiday to London in October (free child-care courtesy of the grandparents, free accommodation courtesy of the parents-in-law!), like going to the occasional movie (cheap night, no snacks!) or concert or roller derby game, or like just buying local, organic (i.e. more expensive) food a little more often.

I don't like saying no as much as I do. But saying no when I need to also allows me to say yes sometimes when I want to. I feel very fortunate about that. And those yeses are what makes life worth living.

YES, blueberry pie, Tucker Nichols with Jon Nichols, 2005